A Little Look Back

I wish I would have started this blog when Mila was born so that I would have it all written down and organized from the beginning, but alas, who would I be if I was organized??? Definitely not me. But here are some little things from the first few months being Mila's mom.

I remember being very pregnant, like 9 months, and thinking that I was going to have this baby who was going to sleep a lot (not through the night or anything, but you know....through out the day) and that I would have tons of time to catch up on sleep I was missing from the nights. I thought she would be a great eater and that I would nurse her and then she wouldn't need to eat again for 3 hours......

This is NOT what I got. Since the day Mila was born she was not into napping at all. It used to take me hours to get her to nap and she would only sleep for 30 minutes. I was also unaware that a baby can become over tired, and when they do, its as if they are on speed. They don't stop. There was one particular night when she was so over tired and could not stop screaming and calm down that I really just started sobbing while holding her. I had been alone since very early that morning since my husband often worked two jobs in one day, and I wasn't expecting him to be home until 2am. I texted him and told him that I was sorry but he was going to have to come home. I didn't care what he had to do to leave work, but at that moment of insanity, he HAD to. He texted me back saying no..................... Looking back on it now we all laugh at that situation, however, at the time I was insanely upset. More sobbing ensued.

The eating thing was a whole other story. I was nursing Mila exclusively for the first 4 or so months, until I just couldn't take it anymore. For almost the entire 4 months she ate about every 45 minutes to one hour. The first two months of her life I never really got fully dressed. I just didn't see the point. So nursing her every hour, with out any sleep, just about did me in. We switched to formula at this time and things got much easier for me. I was now able to leave her for any amount of time, and everything was not only on my shoulders. I am extremely glad I did nurse her, and I do wish I could have done it longer, but I was also really relieved when formula came into play.

Now, at almost 9 months old, I actually miss those late night feedings. The crazy days with no sleep I honestly do not miss, although I can say that they taught me a lot about patience. I have a tendency to go straight to sarcasm to make light of most situations, but the past 9 months have been the best of my life (including the awful moments) and I know that there are so many wonderful months to come. I cannot believe how much she has grown, and when I look at myself, I cannot believe how much I have grown also.

Mila one day old